You built the thing. You run the thing. So why does it still feel like an emergency every single day? As Latina professionals, we are often taught to hustle relentlessly, managing our families and our ambition with an iron grip. But operating constantly in “crisis mode” leads directly to cultural burnout.
Enter Patty Kirby. As the owner of Madison Avenue Marketing Agency—one of the first female-owned marketing agencies in Laredo, Texas, Patty has weathered the 2008 economic crash, launched her business right before the 2020 pandemic, and scaled her operations while raising her son as a single mom. She intimately understands the pressure of building a legacy while trying to stay sane.
In this episode, we unpack how to shift your mindset from panic to gratitude, why strategic collaboration is the key to scaling a service business, and how to intentionally design your next chapter when your kids leave the nest. You’ll walk away with actionable permission to breathe, pivot, and choose the life you actually want to live.
Share
Scaling a small agency requires partnering with others instead of viewing them as competition. By sharing resources, you can combine specific strong suits, like videography and public relations, to offer a comprehensively better experience for your clients. If a client relationship isn’t a good fit, confidently refer them to another agency whose style matches their needs better.
Operating a business while raising a child as a single mother often comes with significant guilt regarding time and energy. However, children observe and absorb the effort, accountability, and responsibility modeled by a hardworking parent. Embracing this journey allows children to recognize that if their mother can overcome systemic hurdles, they can achieve their goals too.
The Laredo Chamber of Commerce recently launched a “Women in Business” committee focused on fostering connections among female professionals. The committee aims to create a financial grant for micro-businesses alongside providing essential mentorship from female attorneys, CPAs, and marketers. Initiatives like the Laredo Women’s Forum offer crucial networking opportunities for local executives.
Anjelica Cazares: Hola, Amiga. And welcome to the Latina Leadership Podcast, a podcast by Latinas for all women. Get ready, because today’s conversation is really special. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Latina Leadership Podcast. I am your host, Anjelica Cazares, and I am on my series of On the Road in the Texas area. Okay, so I am in my hometown of Laredo more or less. Sister. So yes, this is the city. Okay. So here with me, I ask you this question at the very beginning of every conversation. Who are you?
Patty Kirby: It’s simple. So my name is Patty Kirby. I’m the owner of Madison Avenue Marketing Agency in Laredo, Texas. I believe one of the first female owned marketing agencies here in town locally. So we’re very proud of that. I’m also a mom to my son, 18 years old on Tuesday. So today, empty nester.
Anjelica Cazares: And I was able to connect with you through the Chamber of Commerce.
Patty Kirby: So yes, I’m lucky enough to be the chair of the business committee for the chamber, which is a new initiative this year. Of all the things we’ve had over these years, our staff working with us women business leaders. So this is a speech that we’re creating for female professionals in our community, and so far is off to a great start. We’re just really excited about it. So I love your vibe in the Latina Leadership and all that. It just fits so well. So we’re so excited.
Anjelica Cazares: So when you, you’re here you’re in marketing. All right. Allegedly. Allegedly. Because I own the agency myself too. And it’s a marketing agency. Yes. No it’s not. Jesus Christ. Okay. So what kind of clients do you have?
Patty Kirby: So we serve all types of verticals. So Madison Avenue started in 2019. We’re going to be seven years old in October.
Anjelica Cazares: How old are you guys? Oh, my God, we’re ten. Okay. We’re ten. So, like, I don’t know if you feel this way, but, and no offense to Barack Obama because he’s very handsome, but, you know how presidents, when they come in, you see this, like, super hot picture of you?
Patty Kirby: Yeah. I should have had a better president. A very handsome professional image. Yes. Very well. And then they serve two terms, and then their outgoing presidential portrait looks a little more rundown.
Anjelica Cazares: Yeah. Okay. I’m. I’m there.
Patty Kirby: I look at the two terms right now with the canas coming in, and it’s like, man, this is not how I looked when I started my business. You know, like if you want to age very rapidly, if you want to accelerate that, open a business, be a small business owner.
Anjelica Cazares: If you want to be wisdom, if you want to gain wisdom, not canas, the wisdom. The wisdom hair.
Patty Kirby: No, I wear it proudly. You know, I’m leaning I’m leaning into it. It’s a badge of honor, for sure. But it’s like, you see, it’s not for the faint of heart. Right? It’s, you know, it’s a start, a business to start emerging and.
Anjelica Cazares: I ask you what kind of clients you have. It’s because it’s the kind of clients that you actually gain that give you one. They give you the most experience, but there’s so I’m so grateful for them because I have learned and I have grown so fast, so quick. Yeah. And just the methodology and the way they work and the way it is, because honestly, there’s no B.S. it is what it is. The work needs to get done. You need to do the work. Life is life.
Patty Kirby: And, you know, whatever it goes on.
Anjelica Cazares: Yeah, it goes on. Sometimes it can be so slow and then all of a sudden there’s like fast pace and I’m like, okay. And then you just have to be ready for that incoming thing. Yeah. So but what you say in marketing that. No.
Patty Kirby: Okay. We’re not doing open heart surgery. No, we’re not going to leave a sponge inside of anyone. Like no one’s going to die. We should enjoy it. We should have fun. But yeah, sometimes you lose sight of that because of all the work stuff.
Anjelica Cazares: Yeah, yeah, because sometimes they have a campaign, they have deadlines, and they have to do, like all the work and stuff right there, all the moving pieces. But with the experience comes the knowledge. Yeah. Great. Okay. So my question to you is aspiring marketers, Latina marketers, what kind of knowledge would you give them?
Patty Kirby: I don’t feel qualified to do this any more by now. I’m just getting. You’re.
Anjelica Cazares: So that’s a lot of. That’s a lot of pressure.
Patty Kirby: That’s what the whole Latina community. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yes, yes. Well, there’s a couple of things, one of them at, at my age stage in life, you know, part of my journey where I’m and I’m like, I should be having a lot more fun. Like I just said, right now, marketing is not an emergency. And that’s one thing where I’m like, dude, we need to sit in gratitude a little bit and be like, we have a really cool job. We get to work with really talented people. We get to be part. People welcome us into their businesses. We get to walk in places and sit in places that most people would never dream of. Like we’re so lucky and we spend most of that time being like, oh, this deadline and I’m stressed and what I’m going to do, and we don’t take time to enjoy it. And as I’m getting older and further along in this, in this journey, I’m just like, I need to have fun. Like I think back to when I was like in my 20s and I, I feel like I was in The Devil Wears Prada, like, you know, I was like, so stressed all the time. I always had my boss was going to fire me every day. You know, if the vibe you.
Anjelica Cazares: Have hiring myself, I’m a guy that lots and lots of times, yes, yes.
Patty Kirby: And it’s like, wait, I worked in like a super cool place that most people would love to work and I didn’t enjoy it. I didn’t enjoy it. And looking back, I’m like, if I had the opportunity to go back and work in that place, I think I would get a lot more out of it from this lens, from this perspective where I’m like, you know what? Like you said earlier, life is going to go on. Things are going to happen. What’s meant to be will be like try to live in the gratitude of what you get to do every day, who you get to work with every day, and like the special places that like, right now I’m here with you.
Anjelica Cazares: Yeah, yeah. You know, like.
Patty Kirby: And yesterday I was probably stressing out about something that’s like inconsequential really in the grand scheme of things. And it’s like, enjoy this. Despite that would be my advice is try to like, not get so deep into things where you don’t congratulate yourself for like how far you’ve come. Yeah, the hard work you’re doing, how impressive it is that you’re still hanging in there and like, enjoy it. Yeah.
Anjelica Cazares: Enjoy it. We have one life. Yeah I appreciate that is good God. Trying to enjoy it. I was already stressing out because like that I forgot my camera. So when you’re not alone, you’re like us being smile face. I was like, hey, bug. When I did, I was stressing, I was like, oh my God, don’t tell me they forgot to put my camera in my bag. Please don’t tell me they forgot to put my camera. My camera in my bag. I know, just done.
Patty Kirby: It with the I know what I figured it. I would, I would, I would have, but it’s so quick to stop. It’s so quick to forget. To enjoy today, to enjoy the moment.
Anjelica Cazares: You’re enjoying the now, right? Yeah. And so especially right now, I’ll tell you this because the economy right, everybody’s budget is on a hold. Everybody’s on standstill. And like I feel like in like we’re in a bad movie where everybody like you’re the only ones we went about and everybody’s like this, right? Because everything’s happening all at the same time. How do you want to enjoy that now? Right. But how do you right. How do you handle stressful situations like that?
Patty Kirby: You’re absolutely right. And there’s there’s not like, like the example I gave right now where I’m saying this now in my, in my mid 40s, you know, but at 20 I would have never been able to say that. So it yeah, it I’m also speaking from a place of privilege. Right. Because I climbed a ladder to a certain point. Right. Versus the me back then. Yeah. But that, that doesn’t mean that there are not hard days or that there is not. You know, the people that know me know that this stage of my life right now has been very, extremely hard on the personal side. Right. So, so yeah, it is hard to navigate that. And I’ve honestly used work as somewhat of a little bit of an escape because out in work things are things are kind of a little better, you know.
Anjelica Cazares: Well or a lot better like where they’re structured. Yeah.
Patty Kirby: They’re structured. Things are good. But yeah, not everyone can come from that place. So I do want to be mindful of that. But yeah, in this economy and we’ve seen it from some clients, it’s not, it’s not you know, Laredo does get touched by all of that stuff very quickly because of the position we play in, like international trade and commerce. So we’re the first ones to see when when things like that trickle down and effect businesses. Thankfully, we haven’t felt it as hard like compared to like previous times, like, for example, Covid, when Covid hit in 2020, I was like, oh my God, that’s it. We’re gonna have to close our business. Or even before that, the economic crash in 2008. I was already working in sales back then, and that was a lot harder. Just from my perspective here, we’re still seeing a lot of growth, a lot of expansion. And maybe again, it is because of the specific nature of Laredo’s position on the border and the type of work that we do within the industry. Growing a lot here. Not to say that I’m having an effect there.
Anjelica Cazares: No, I think that’s a really interesting perspective. And I think that’s a really interesting like the way it’s happening, because during Covid, our business grew substantially, our business grew substantially during Covid. And now the economic downturn or what the economics are, where everybody’s feeling at the at this moment is, is we are getting affected differently. Yeah. But I can see why. I can see the need to like import from like Southern or Central America or, you know, North America South. Yeah. And I can see why they would the business of the international trade or the international borders are going to like Excel.
Patty Kirby: Excel. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, Laredo won the geographic lottery like we did. Like we’re so lucky to be where that.
Anjelica Cazares: Is so amazing. Yeah.
Patty Kirby: And so we still see that growth because like you said with Covid. So when Covid we opened in 2019, then March came along and we’re like, oh my God, our little tiny businesses barely trying to get off the ground. We’re going to we’re going to die here, you know? But it had the opposite effect. Like you said, that’s where we grew exponentially. Why? Because everyone was like everyone who before I thought they didn’t need a website. Now it’s like, you know, why do I need to be online? I need e-commerce, you know, I need to make a video about washing your hands. I need QR codes. They made a comeback from 2010, you know, all that kind of stuff. So it actually did propel our business. Yeah. But in a time when everyone else that that the vibe with other businesses was like, this is a scary time, things are failing. So I think similarly compared to now, even though the overall national economic climate is iffy, a lot of people, unfortunately, are going through a really hard time right now for different reasons. As it relates to that in Laredo, I can’t say that we’re completely unscathed, right. But I do think that we’re in a very positive position because of the type of industries that we have here. That it does continue to, to sustain our community. And I mean, from our perspective, the clients that we hear from continue to work with, we’re seeing so much growth. Yeah, the industrial sector at land development, warehousing, all of that is is big for us. Those are some big verticals for us.
Anjelica Cazares: Yes, yes. The growth at, South Texas in general, like you’re in the Rio Grande Valley, every border town is having an amazing growth. And I see, we we definitely see it. And happening now, even north of Texas, right. North Dallas is having like an over booming growth also. And so everything in between so well the whole. I-35 quarter right.
Patty Kirby: They call it Texas. Yeah. Street.
Anjelica Cazares: Yeah. Reason right. Yes. Yes okay. So one of the things that I know now and in my age, right at my big age is collaboration. I was afraid to collaborate because I was people are going to take my ideas or they were going to run with my client or they were going to whatever they were going to or whatever. But now I understand that in true honesty, it’s like it’s like when you when you marry a man. And forgive me if this is my bad analogy, right? If you marry a man and he’s going to go with somebody, he’s going to go with that body. It doesn’t even matter. It doesn’t even matter. And so it was the same thing. If it didn’t work out for me, I hope that I can see it work out for somebody else. I hope that I can that I can, because at some point my, at some point my skills will be useful to someone.
Patty Kirby: Yes.
Anjelica Cazares: And they might not be useful to what is happening or what that is, what it that it’s about. And it. But when you’re there, it’s difficult. It’s difficult to also savor somebody else’s growth. So collaboration collaborative affects us all in such a tremendous way. That’s my take on it. What is yours when you when you want to collab? Because our tiny agencies can only do so much. Oh, and we have to work together with other agencies. What would you say to other agencies or to other agencies who are afraid to collaborate or afraid to see what can happen?
Patty Kirby: Yeah. Now what? I love what you said, first of all, and I’ll forgive your analogy if you forget my Barack Obama when, yes, it’s a trade off or even just edit that out. No. But like, I agree with you. Like if a relationship with a client and your agency is not the right fit, it is kind of like a personal relationship where you have to be like, you know what? I think you’re great. I know I did my job too, but we’re just a not a good mix for each other. Hey, I know this guy or I know this girl, and I think they could help you so much better. Like, I think you guys would vibe great. And then it opens that space for you to find someone that fits more like your vibe. So I’m a super fan of that. We’re all adults here, right? Let’s just do that and move on. And you have a better output. And I have a better client relationship. And I love that. As far as collaboration, you know, we actually so like I said, when we started our agency, myself and my business partner, we started in 2019, I, I personally don’t know of any other female owned marketing agency at that time because I wanted that collaboration. I craved that as a brand new little small business owner, new to the space. I was like, what do I do? Where do I start? I was looking for mentorship, right from someone specifically from a woman. You know, someone that I could talk to that relates to my specific, unique journey, right. But, I didn’t know of that. Now I see a lot more of that. And I have been able to connect with some of those women, and I love it. And with some of the men, too. Recently we did a collaboration on one of our, political candidate campaigns, one of our political clients, and we collaborated with another agency. They have their strong suits, we have our strong suits. So we’re, for example, maybe another agency is really great at like, public relations, but maybe ours is especially good at like, videography, you know, can you combine those two to give the client just a better experience overall? And the answer is yes. Yeah. And, you have to be willing and open to it. Right? I don’t want to be an island. I don’t want to be siloed, ever. I, I think collaborations are super important. And from this first experience, you do have to figure out how to navigate them, right? Depending on who you’re working with. Like, I’m not saying it’s smooth sailing, but I’m saying give it a shot. Yeah. I’m.
Anjelica Cazares: Yeah, you learn what you know. And, one of the things, as a business owner, I’ve learned really quickly how to, like, reach people. And I read like, oh, you’re fake this or that. Honestly, everybody’s really deep down everyone should be a good person. And I believe 95% of the people are good. Same. And they might just be in a space, in a place where they’re just they’re having a hard time and whatever’s happening shouldn’t affect you and it shouldn’t affect, like, how you run your business or don’t run your business or why you should be mad at them for whatever it is that they’re going through. And so I not read people like, oh, you’re a bad person. I can read you in the in the state of life that you’re in. I can I can see why you’re, you’re really eager to to learn or why you’re really eager to, like, overstep people. There’s nothing not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just that that’s not that, you know, when is my moment? When is not what it may be. I if I want to step over people and I want to, I need to get as fast as I possibly can get to where I need to go. You might be you might be my right partner. Yeah. And stepping over somebody else doesn’t mean like, it just means that you’re not just going to consult with people and the people who introduce you. Maybe you’re going to overstep them and stuff like that. That’s what that means. Yeah. Not that it’s bad. Yeah, but honestly, a faster pace might work better. And you just kind of like, move on and I’m like, okay, I need to move fast. Yeah. Can you help me move fast? Because this is getting to tally like I we’re we’re all, we’re we’re crossing now checking, crossing, not checking. I’m like, okay, I need somebody with the separate checklist that we can move things along faster. And so when you’re looking at that growth, when you’re looking at what you can really exponentially do for yourself, that advice is like just gold, to younger people. What advice would you give that is just like, you’re like, you know what? This is it. Yeah.
Patty Kirby: So, like, I don’t know if it’s advice, but I can give perspective when we talk about younger people. A lot of my, team is a lot younger. And I’m the oldest person that.
Anjelica Cazares: Right, like you, like 15.
Patty Kirby: But, But thanks, but that’s a good thing. I’m saying it’s a great thing because you want fresh perspective. You want all that. But as far as, like, it’s not advice, but telling them, like what I expect as like someone to work with. Like you said, a relationship where like where we’re at. Are we on the same page? I always say two words. So if this is advice for younger people maybe looking to get a job, attitude and effort, those are like top two for everything. I feel like most of the things we do in any business you can teach, you can maybe teach editing. Of course, there’s people that have natural talent because I know so many of those and I’m so jealous of that. But most things you can teach and learn and get good at, but attitude and effort. Are you an easy person to work with? That’s like my number one quality. And I know it sounds kind of cheesy, but when I meet people for the first time, I might do. I like feed off of the energy. So like, you guys can’t see behind the camera. But Zell is here, who I work with, and I always tell her, the first time I met Zell, the first time I was introduced her, I always tell her it was love at first sight, like it was just the vibe, you know, that you get from a person. You’re like, this is a good person. They’re nice, they’re humble, they’re hardworking. Like we share. I, you know, I can relate.
Anjelica Cazares: Yeah.
Patty Kirby: We’re the same type of people. You know, I could see myself working with this person. Whereas unfortunately, there are some people that.
Anjelica Cazares: Yeah, you know, that you don’t.
Patty Kirby: Again, back to your relationship analogy, because so much of this is relationships, right? There’s just some people that you don’t. And it’s it’s good for you. It’s good for me. We’re different. Okay. Whatever. We respect each other. But maybe we’re not going to team up or collaborate because it’s not a good match, you know?
Anjelica Cazares: Yeah, I think that’s really, really, really solid advice is and art for me it’s are you trainable? Right. So you I think you said that for me it’s can I teach you, can you retain can you hold and can you, can you make it your own? Can you, can you work this in a way that’s going to work better for you and for our clients? And can you commit? That’s it.
Patty Kirby: Yeah, that’s really it. Honestly, a lot of what we do can be trained on what I prefer that, you know, what I really like is, is individuals who will have just a little bit of experience, not necessarily in marketing, just in work experience, in the environment that we are in. Because of.
Anjelica Cazares: My serve as customer. Facing public relations, it’s a lot of this. It’s a lot of relational meetings. It’s a lot of like and then the client will say something and you’re like, I don’t you’re not saying what you’re saying, but let me interpret what you’re saying. They’re like, yes, that’s it. I was like, okay, cause that’s not even there. What? You said you were talking over here and you were like, I’m like, okay, how can I give you really hard numbers? How can I give you really hard data? So I love that. I love that. You know for. Sure. Just just, for me, it’s malleable. Can I pick what can how can I work this so it can work for us? Yeah. And then how? Whatever way that you went in. Make it your own.
Patty Kirby: Because truly, I don’t need you to be a second. Me. Right.
Anjelica Cazares: I need you to be you. Right? Yeah.
Patty Kirby: And and and work that way. And work in marketing where so much is like, idea based, right? If I get stuck on this is my idea and this is how I want to do it, then where’s the creativity in that? Right? The whole point is to hear like, well, what do you think we should do? What do you think we should do? And then kind of like make a mix of that, right? Yeah. Because, yeah. By yourself, it’s it’s not, it’s not a thing.
Anjelica Cazares: Oh my gosh. Yeah. I can talk about marketing. All right. So we’ll move on. So love your comment. Yes okay. So the chamber yes. This program. What is it.
Patty Kirby: Talk to me about it. So the chamber here in Laredo has been around for over 100 years.
Anjelica Cazares: Oh my God. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. She’s established she’s established and it’s had about 18 or 19 committees.
Patty Kirby: As far as the chairperson of the entire chamber recently, there’s been a resurgence in female chairperson, to oversee the entire chamber. So in the 100 year history, we’ve seen maybe now as a handful. Okay. It’s a small number still, but, yeah, we’re getting there. It’s it’s starting to change. Right. So it’s very positive. And in light of that, some of these new female leaders have come on and noticed that, hey, maybe there’s a little bit more room for growth here with that sector. Right? So this year, the new chairperson of the chamber, Rossi Chase, she along with some other chamber leaders, decided that we should add a new committee to the chamber called Women in Business that was specifically just focused on helping female professionals in our community talk, collaborate, network, make those connections, even just go for a cafecito in van den like, you know, again, the female experience is very unique. When people say like, oh, it’s the same out in the workplace, it’s really not. But only another woman to another woman understands what I’m talking about. And so those those relationships are very necessary. So this this committee was created, like I said, I was very lucky to be asked to chair that committee. So we just started in October. It’s fresh. It’s a baby committee. And what we’re trying to do is just initiatives that bring women together. Right now we’re in the process of and this is just like planting the seeds phase of creating a grant, financial grant for women who are maybe going to start a micro-businesses small business, need a little bit of seed money. And also, along with that grant, provide them with mentorship resources. So a female attorney, a female CPA accountant, maybe a female marketer, you know, people to kind of help you get your feet wet.
Anjelica Cazares: Yeah, I wish I had that when I started because I was clueless. And so figuring it out, I go, yeah, yeah, but as most of us are. But but I think that’s such a valuable thing.
Patty Kirby: Those are things that are in our future. Coming up in July, this wonderful IBC bank that we have here in Laredo hosts this beautiful Laredo Women’s Forum. So we’re happy to be part of that and join them in that. As far as the Laredo Chamber Foundation as well, and raise funds to hopefully be able to reinvest in ways like that back into the female professional community here in Laredo, which, as you know, it’s 95% Latina.
Anjelica Cazares: So, so that is so cool. Oh, my God, I need to come back for that foreign.
Patty Kirby: Yes. Come back. It’s on July 30th, two days after my birthday. Just throwing that out there and, Yeah, it’s going to be great.
Anjelica Cazares: You’re so good. Speaker. Yes, yes.
Patty Kirby: Doctor Goswami, she is a cancer researcher, a very impressive woman. She’s going to be the guest speaker. And yes, you’re welcome to be a guest at my table. If you would like to.
Anjelica Cazares: Guide that, I would love. I like, 95% Latina women. Yeah.
Patty Kirby: So this room last year when IBC hosted this, last year, it was a room of 300 women. It was sold out. All female leaders, female professionals.
Anjelica Cazares: Oh, my God, our CEOs. Top level. Like your cup of tea. Exactly.
Patty Kirby: In our community. And it’s just a good vibe to be around. Like, there’s so much girl power. We talk about a lot of things, and, and yeah, it’s it’s a big event. And for networking alone, you know, like, we always talk about representation and it matters, you know, and as you know, I saw this thing online the other day where they were talking to a class of, like, elementary school kids, and they were like, hey, draw, a firefighter. And they’re like, oh, he looks like this and that. Oh, draw a doctor. Oh, he’s he’s tall and he wears as an and he, he, he, you know. And so still even in 2026, even our children coming up, the first thing they envision when they think of these high level professionals is a male, which is fine. You know, but but more and more to be able to be in a room surrounded by the female doctors, the female firefighters, the female marketers and and she that and be like, oh, you know, if it was little me to be able to see that India girl, she’s Latina like me, you know, she’s a woman like me. I can see myself in her shoes. I can see myself in her uniform. Yeah. And I think that that makes a world of difference. So anything that promote that I’m in favor of.
Anjelica Cazares: Oh, my God, that’s so amazing. Oh, my God, this is just like, fill it makeup. Okay, so, July 30th.
Patty Kirby: Yeah. The women’s forum.
Anjelica Cazares: Okay. Annex on Jack Monroe. Okay. Yeah. No, no, we should ask about tickets.
Patty Kirby: Just reach out to the Chamber of. Commerce that we should definitely add that.
Anjelica Cazares: Okay, now I’m thinking to myself, okay, how do I get here? July 30th. Okay. Yes, yes. Let me let me work that, Okay. Yeah I know. Hello. Yes, yes, we’ll be on wheels. Yes I do, I bring a couple of them. So. Okay, one of the things that you mentioned was her son, 18 I love. And that’s how I know the things that we are very passionate about. Right. Love him. I have a son. And he will be graduating this May from the University of Oklahoma.
Patty Kirby: English. Congratulations. Thank you. How is your son and AC graduating also? So my son Jake is amazing. The love of my life. It’s always just been me and him. Why am I going to start to cry? Okay, I’m not seeing because he’s a no. We’re very close. Okay. He is turning 18 on Tuesday and so he’s graduating from high school here on May 28th. And in August he’s moving into.
Anjelica Cazares: Congratulations, mom. In San Antonio at Incarnate Word.
Patty Kirby: He he did get a scholarship, an academic scholarship. So single mom, small business owner, I’m like, thank you, God for that scholarship. You know, that’s going to help us a lot. That’s a huge blessing. And yeah, so in August, I will officially be an empty nester because Jacob is my only son, my only child. And so it’s definitely a lot of feelings right now. Right. With him turning 18 with him leaving. I’m so proud of him. I feel good and happy for him. I want him to launch from the nest. I want him to have those experiences.
Anjelica Cazares: Absolutely.
Patty Kirby: But am I going to be sad? I think I’m going to be sad. I think already I feel of anticipation. Great, good. But also, I’m looking forward to a new chapter for the both of us. For the both of us, him in this new life, getting to be a grown up setting in college, meeting different people, diversifying, you know, men, women of different races, of different ages, just out from Laredo.
Anjelica Cazares: Where he’s figuring it out, a. Little bubble. Figuring it out himself.
Patty Kirby: And then me figuring it out myself. Right. As you know, a single woman, you know, with my only son leaving and finally being for the first time in, what, 19 years, you know? Yeah. Starting fresh. So we’re both starting new chapters and it’s exciting, but it’s also a little, you know, difficult. Yes.
Anjelica Cazares: I remember when we first dropped off my son at the dorm. Yeah. No no, no it is. And we like tears. Yes. We like sent him off and then we drove home and I was like, okay, this sucks. No, but it was I he grew so much. Yeah. He yeah, he is own like he is an advocate. He can do and say and communicate. But he’s gone up against like their administration. They’re like board like, you know, staff and, and and I think it’s so amazing I think are so amazing. So when you when your son graduates and he’s it’s 20 years from today. Right. It’s ten years from today. Right.
Patty Kirby: Oh yeah.
Anjelica Cazares: What would you like for him to have learned from you even as an adult? Because what he learns in his childhood and what he learns in adulthood are completely separate. What do you hope he can learn from me into adulthood?
Patty Kirby: Yeah. Well, you know, I think about it all the time, you know, like being a single mom and working a lot. I’ve always worked when I worked in corporate, and now being a small business owner, you work all the time. It’s very consuming. Yeah. And for a lot of women, that was associated with a lot of guilt, like, what am I missing? Am I there for him enough. You know, I’m not going to be able to cook a full meal when I get home at nine. I’m going to be super tired, whatever it is. You know, you have all this mom guilt. But on the other side of that coin, I hope that I’m teaching him, seeing me, like, work hard, like, hey, things take effort. You have to be responsible. You have to be accountable. You can’t give up when things are hard. No one’s coming to save you, right? You have to figure it out. And so if anything, even though it came with a lot of mom guilt, you know, I hope that he sees how hard that I’ve worked. And you know, how much effort it takes. And I hope he takes that. And that’s instilled something in him to also be responsible for himself and his family. Right. And to be like, you know, my mom did it. You know, my mom did it. I could do it. There’s no reason I can’t do it. You know, if she could do it, I could do it. Yeah. So hopefully he took takes that away.
Anjelica Cazares: That’s amazing. And also just…
Patty Kirby: He’s taught me a lot about kindness. So I mean, I think I’m a kind of person. I think I’m a good person. But he’s like next level. And I think it’s part of his younger generation too. That’s learning a lot of like softer life qualities, which is so refreshing. Honestly, that’s you know, we grew up very like, oh, you know, throw you in the lion’s cage and figure it out. And he, you know, he comes from a softer, vibe. But I love that he’s always like, you know, be kind to everyone, you know, because sometimes we’re stressed out. Like he said, you meet someone at the wrong time, you’re stressed out. Yeah. It’s not the best outcome. Five minutes later, you’re like, why did I do that? Approach it that way. Yeah, like I could have done better, I regret it. Yeah. He always reminds me about that. He’s always like, mom, you know, just just be nice. Just calm down. It’s fine. They’re probably going through something like this, and I’m like, for someone who’s 17 going on 18 right now to have that, that mentality is really refreshing and I’m really proud of him. So he teaches me that. Right.
Anjelica Cazares: Well, congratulations and happy birthday to. Thank you. And much much congratulations okay. Yeah. So some lasting and leaving words. Yeah. What would you say when not. What would you say advice you would give Latinas who are graduating. Oh, we’re dancing now with that Latinas who are, in their second wind of life now.
Patty Kirby: I would tell them, call me and give me advice. That’s where I’m at right now. Yeah. You know, that’s where I’m at. And it’s like figuring it out and like, you can get advice all day and you can hear stuff all day. But ultimately we’re all on such individual journeys, right? It’s so hard. I keep telling like my girlfriends, my circles of friends, like once Jake leads to college, I’m just going to, like, retreat into a bubble. Like no one’s going to see me for, like, a month, and I’m just going to do talks mid decompress. Right. You know, of everything that you’ve been doing, work in life and stuff and kind of just take a moment to ask myself like wait who who am I? What do I like? What do I want? You know, we go through life taking care of our employees, taking care of our parents, taking care of our children. Yeah, taking care of our friends. And we don’t stop to ask ourselves those things. And I think it’s been many years since I asked myself, like, who is Patty? Like, what is she like? What does she want for the next chapter of her life? And just, I don’t know, sometimes it’s scary to ask yourself those questions and to be and to confront yourself with some of the realities right of this stage you’re in, in life and stuff. But I welcome it. I think everyone should kind of just do a reset if I’ll let you know if it works out for me, but but yeah, just a reset first before I go out. And I’m like, you know what, I want to buy a property or you know what I want to start another business are, oh, you know, I want to start dating or whatever it is. Yeah. Before you make any of those crazy life choices, like just a reset and just be like, hey, you know, for the first time in my life, it’s not about like, well, I need to live here because my husband’s job is here, or I need to stay here because my son and all his friends are here, or, you know, I have to get home by this time to make everyone dinner. It’s not that anymore. Now it’s really like. Well, is that how is that what I want for myself? Like, I can finally I feel like ask myself that without feeling guilty or bad. So I think that’s step one. Just ask yourself, have like a serious conversation with yourself and be like, who am I? And what do I want? And then really and truly, I believe like anything is possible. I know that sounds so cheesy and so generic, but the older I get, the more I am like really? Like, yeah, like you want this. There’s logical steps to get to that. Yeah, that there’s logical steps to get to that. You just have to take the time to make a little roadmap and just be like, do I want to commit to this? Do I want I missed the time, the money, the effort, the blood, sweat and tears? Yes, it’s worth it. Okay, let me do it. But it’s very it can be very logical. More than we make it difficult sometimes.
Anjelica Cazares: Yeah. That’s really, really solid advice. Is it? Just take your time. Just take your second wind. Perfect. Breathe. Breathe.
Patty Kirby: Yes. Breathe. Breathe. And just be like, what? What just happened the last 18 years? I just have it. Yeah. What am I doing? Well, what is my what? What do I like? What do I like like like, have you asters like, what’s your favorite color or what’s your favorite food like? I don’t know, like, do we even know this information?
Anjelica Cazares: Can I do this? Can I not know. His favorite color? I know his favorite. Does it matter? Yeah. Yeah. So this is the whole point of this road trip is that I could. Can I do it on my own? I don’t know, I don’t know, you are do I know, I don’t know right.
Patty Kirby: Yes. Correct. Yeah. That’s not a. Question I don’t know. But here’s the thing is that if I want, I can stop. If I want. If it’s your choice.
Anjelica Cazares: If it’s my choice. Everything then the choice that I’m. With ultimately sometimes out of fear don’t do anything. It’s like okay but have you tried it. So how do you even know if you’re scared of it and what’s right. And it’s easier said than done.
Patty Kirby: Like yeah we are. Yeah. Like that’s I’m. Giving all the advice like qualified jump girl. Yeah just jump. And then we’re like, you’re like tethered like. Yeah, no, I just do what’s right for you. And like, that path looks different for everyone and there’s no judgment. But I think you said it. It’s all about choice. I think that’s the most empowering thing for any woman. Any human, any person of any gender is choice. Are you choosing your life? You want to be a stay at home mom? I love that for you. If that’s what you want. You want to be the top level CEO that works night and day. I love that for you. If that’s what you want. Yeah. Is it your choice? And I think now we’re like, wow. Like I have kind of choice decision fatigue. Because now I feel like the whole world is open right. Which is a good thing potentially. But I feel like as long as it’s my choice, as long as it’s something that I’m freely choosing for myself, not because of a circumstance. And again, that’s from a place of privilege. Not everyone has that. But when you have the choice, I think that’s the most empowering thing to know that you’re doing something because that’s what you want to do. Yeah, yeah. That’s not what someone else expects you to do or wants you to do or that you have to do. It’s what you. Want.
Anjelica Cazares: Yeah, yeah, it’s your choice. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. I absolutely love this. I think you you dropped a lot of wisdom in one episode, and I even my mind is thinking like, that actually makes sense. And I’m like, hi, Do you want to go? There’s another chair. You ready? Hoosier? You ready?
Patty Kirby: You ready to go, pilot? Val, get in the van. Let’s go.
Anjelica Cazares: Bye bye. Hi. Hi. How are you?
Patty Kirby: No. Better. Thank you so much.
Anjelica Cazares: Thank you so much for joining us this morning. I appreciate what you’re doing.
Patty Kirby: Thank you. I think it’s amazing we were fangirling over your Instagram. No, I love it. We’re like, is this a labor of love? Like what? Like all these cities and laredo’s just barely, like in the middle one. Like, you still have, like, three laps to go yet. Like, I don’t know how you do it, but when you do it, you’re amazing at it.
Anjelica Cazares: Thank you. And I could see the passion there and the thought behind it. And it’s very admirable. Awesome. And just glad to have you guys. Yeah. Thank you, thank you, thank you. All right. And with that we’ll see you next time.
