Las Patronas: Peacocks, Purpose, and the Journey We're On

Monica: And we’re just admiring and that they’re beautiful peacocks walking around. And then I see this peacock, like chasing something, and I’m, you know, funny Monica. I said, look, we’re about to have a National Geographic moment. Hi and welcome to Las Patronas. Oh, there’s too many things. Well, first of all, you’re my forever roomie. I love everything about her. You know, Monica is actually one of the sweetest, most genuine, kindest souls that you will ever encounter. Like Monica has not a mean hair on her body. And when I say that, I truly mean that. And she’s hilarious. I always know that she will make me smile. No, she will make me crack up at any given moment, especially when I need it. That’s what I love most about Monica.

Mary Ann: Well, Mary Ann took us to this beautiful… I wouldn’t say abandoned. It’s just not as popular, I think, as it once was. Like I said, not a bad bone or bad hair on her body. But she kept telling us about it, and we went. And it had a beautiful overlook, like this big balcony that you could probably host a party on. It was beautiful. And we’re just admiring and that they’re beautiful peacocks walking around. And then I see this peacock, like chasing something, and I’m, you know, funny Monica. I said, look, we’re about to have a National Geographic moment. Unbeknownst to me, the dragonfly that it was chasing came toward me. Went up my skirt and almost the peacock as well. Anyway, we just couldn’t stop laughing.

Mary Ann: No, you’re not telling the whole story, Monica. That’s my version.

Monica: That’s Monica’s version.

Mary Ann: What really happened was Monica being nosy and wanting to figure out what the peacock was following, which was a little dragonfly. The dragonfly goes up her skirt and Jelly and I, Anjelica, and I are looking at her like, what is she doing? Next thing you know, she comes running towards us. The peacock is running towards her. Now we’re running away and—and the whole time, you know, we’re middle-aged women, you know, we don’t have, you know, bladder, we have bladder issues. So I’m running, laughing, having to pee at the same time as a peacock is trying to attack her. And she’s trying to include us in her attack. So yeah, she left all that out. It was so funny.

Monica: Yes. So I have two kids, Anthony and Gabriela. Actually, Gabriela came first, and then Anthony. But they’re amazing. And, you know, it’s just something that—they’re grown now, and it’s a weird part—weird time in my life. You know, because you spend so much time in those early years, you know, raising your kids. And then when they… You never stop parenting, like, I want to try and teach them everything I know up until this point. But it’s different. Like when they don’t need you as much, and it’s kind of a shock to the system. And so, you know, now I’m still learning and growing, but they’re their own people now, and they’re learning and growing. But they’re amazing. I love my kids so much, they make me laugh. We have so much fun together. Anthony is very—I see a lot of myself in him. He loved theater. Just like I was in theater in school. He’s funny. But I always tried to teach him, like, if you’re being funny at someone’s expense, it’s not funny. So I try, and I tried to teach him that from a young age, but, you know, still today, I have to tell him, like Anthony, you know, keep it in check. And then Gabriela, she’s such a sweet soul. She helps me with, you know, my nonprofit, and she’s an amazing person. You know, she’s been through a lot in her very short life. And she deals with a chronic illness, and she does it like a boss. She—she’s an amazing person. And I love them both so very, very much.

Mary Ann: So I’ve got three kids. Beautiful kids. Right? Every mom says that. My oldest, Kimberly. She is probably more mature than I am. Actually, she actually is a very… How can I say? She’s a very old soul in the sense that she—she had to—she shared a lot of moments with me from growing up to now. Like it was like she was my little best friend. And now she’s 21, and she—she’s very nurturing and she’s very caring, which kind of, you know, leads her in what she’s studying to be a teacher. She wants to work with children. But Kimberly is, like I said, she’s an old soul. And she—she actually gives me peace in my very chaotic world. I’ve got my güerito. My middle child. He’s very much the middle child, yet very much… I love him, I love him, but the world revolves around that child. The world just is against him. And actually, we’re all with him, you know? But he’s very talented. He has that very entrepreneur type of mentality. You know, in middle school, he came with the whole game plan to me. He’s like, “Mom, I need to borrow $50.” I’m like, “What do you need $50 for?” “Mom, we’re going to go to Sam’s. I’m going to buy a whole bunch of candy bars, and I’m going to sell them. And with the profits, I’m going to pay it back, and I’m going to buy more.” And I’m like, “Wow, okay, let’s do it.” And then he started flipping tennis shoes. And that because he realized that, you know what? He can buy a pair of sneakers for a very cheap rate and then flip them and make more. And you know, he then became a barber, you know. So like what, at 14, he was already cutting hair. And so I mean, that kid when it comes to like business and just that entrepreneurship, like he’s very smart in that sense. My baby Joey. Oh, God, that kid is hilarious. You know, this is when I knew he was going to be a character. You know, he’s 13. When I found out I was pregnant with him, we did, you know, those 3D ultrasounds? And in the ultrasound, I have a picture of his little butt like this, with his hands crossed behind his head and his little feet like this. I knew at that moment he was going to be a character. And he is actually—he’s hilarious, but he’s really, really smart. So I feel like he has a little bit of all of us, you know, except his adolescent years are a little different than his brother and sister because his dad and I co-parent. And so he essentially has two families, you know, he has his family with his dad, and then he’s got his family with us. And so it’s very unorthodox. But he has a whole team of people that love him and we’re all here for him. And his whole world revolves around sports, you know, basketball, football, baseball, robotics. Like he’s just very engaged and I’m very grateful. And he—and my kids are loved. You know, right now the older two have, you know, they’re young adults and they’re finding their way through life. And Joey is lucky that he has his older siblings, myself and you know, his dad. And we’re all here trying to guide him in this journey that’s teenage years.

Monica: So yeah, no. The question—the answer to that question is no. I did not picture my life to be what it is right now. It’s actually something I struggle with because as a very, first-generation Mexican-American, at my age, I was supposed to be married, you know, have a successful career and have a home and a white picket fence and my kids off to college. But my life isn’t very traditional in that sense. You know, I feel like when it comes to my career and the things that I can control, I got a grasp of that. But when it comes to my personal life, it’s all over the place. So now, to answer your question, I don’t. My life is not what I envisioned it to be at this age. No. It’s a sham. No.

Mary Ann: That’s something, you know, when you’re a kid, I was like, “I’m going to be an actress.” Like, that was it, right? I practiced receiving the Academy Award. Like, that was just… But then when people start filling you with doubt, the seeds of doubt and, “Oh, you need something to fall back on,” and it changes, right? And, you know, I just celebrated 29 years of marriage. And that’s wonderful. But I don’t think I have found my purpose in life. Well, I have a nonprofit, and I get a lot of fulfillment from that, but I’m still searching. I’m still searching for… Why am I getting so emotional? I’m still searching for that. Like when we did that talk at the Body and Soul. I feel like I’m getting there. But yes, because, you know, motherhood takes up such a big part of your life when they’re babies. And it really fills you, or it filled me at the time. But, you know, when that was over and you’re sitting in the silence of “What’s next?” It’s a little scary, but I met these two wonderful ladies, Anjelica and Mary Ann, and they’re starting to feel that, you know, they keep me on my toes. They keep me accountable. They, you know, ask me things that no one really has asked me about myself. And so those relationships, you know, that you have with your girlfriends really matter. So I have found them, and I’m enjoying my time with them, and I look forward to all of our adventures. We’ve had a lot in a very short period of time. But, yes, I’m still searching. I would say that I’m still looking for my purpose. Just don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid. Take risks. Take risks, and do it. If you’re going to do something, do it with all of your heart and—it’s okay to make mistakes. Mistake is not a bad word. It’s okay. That’s how you learn. And go for it. Full on. That’s what I would tell her.

Monica: Oh, my God, you know what I would do? I wanted to shake her and tell her to stop. Stop trying to grow up. You know, I graduated early from high school because I in my heart, I knew I wanted to help people, and I wanted to get out there and start living life. No, like, I would have not graduated early, I would have stayed in high school in a traditional high school and enjoyed all of those traditional moments that high school kids get to enjoy, you know, and not try to hurry up and live life. You know, I would have probably gone to, you know, HSPVA, which is where I got accepted. But my mom, because she came here undocumented—and so at that time, there was a lot of fear, right? There was fear. And again, being first-gen Mexican-American, you know, there were a lot of just “play it safe,” kind of, not take the risk, like Monica said, you know. And if I knew then what I know now, I would have slowed it down and just taken those risks and just gone full throttle. And again, mistakes are not bad mistakes. But, you know, we didn’t have that guidance back then. That’s why the work that we do now is so important. I love you Moni.

Monica: I love you!